Teruntuk Isni, Athar, dan Erga

Saat ini saat yang tepat bagi gue untuk menyisihkan ruang sendiri tanpa orang lain di kehidupan gue
Ada masanya engga ingin orang lain terlibat dalam urusan kita
Ada masanya ingin berjuang sendirian
Ada masanya engga ingin menumpahkan gejolak asa dan membaginya
Dan saat ini gue mulai ada di titik ini
Detik - detik kepergian gue menghabiskan 4 tahun jenjang pendidikan gue dan memperbaharui kinerja gue jauh disana
Gue mulai mengurangi waktu gue untuk kalian
Gue mulai merasa gue butuh ruang sendirian
Gue engga ingin membaginya
Gue engga mau kalian memahami lebih dalam lagi apa yang gue rasakan saat ini
Berkeluh kesah bukan cara yang gue inginkan tiap kali ketemu kalian
Gue ingin sendirian
Gue bukan menarik diri
Bukan kerena kalian engga asyik lagi
Bukan kerena kalian engga semenyenangkan itu lagi
Kenapa gue lebih memilih dunia gue dibandingkan bertemu kalian
Bertahun - tahun gue rasa waktu yang cukup untuk sering membagi waktu
Sering bertemu
Mengiyakan pertemuan tanpa memikirkan kondisi masing - masing
Apakah kelelahan atau sedang sibuk dengan suatu urusan
Gue mencintai kalian
Setiap hari dan setiap saat kalian ada dibagian dikehidupan gue
Tapi, iya ada waktunya kita tidak saling membagi urusan..
Gue hanya butuh ruang untuk sendirian
Gue hanya butuh waktu mempersiapkan rasanya hari tanpa kalian nantinya..
Butuh adaptasi tanpa kalian nantinya
Dan gue engga ingin kalian pahami hal yang satu ini.

Rihanna ft. Neyo

Yeah
Yeah, yeah
That's how much I love you (yeah)
That's how much I need you (yeah, yeah, yeah)

[Verse 1: Rihanna & Ne-Yo / Both]
And I can't stand you
Must everything you do make me wanna smile
Can I not like you for awhile? (No)
But you won't let me
You upset me girl
And then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget (that I was upset)
Can't remember what you did
But I hate it...
You know exactly what to do
So that I can't stay mad at you
For too long that's wrong
But I hate it
You know exactly how to touch
So that I don't want to fuss and fight no more
Said I despise that I adore you

[Chorus: Rihanna & (Ne-Yo)]
And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah)
I can't stand how much I need you (I need you)
And I hate how much I love you boy (oh whoa)
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so (oh)

[Verse 2: Ne-Yo & Rihanna]
You completely know the power that you have (power that you have)
The only one makes me laugh (one makes me laugh)
Said it's not fair
How you take advantage of the fact
That I...
Love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain't right

[Chorus: Ne-Yo & (Rihanna)]
And I hate how much I love you girl (oooh)
I can't stand how much I need you (yeah)
And I hate how much I love you girl (yeah)
But I just can't let you go (oooh)
But I hate that I love you so

[Bridge: Rihanna & Ne-Yo / Both]
One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me (hmm)
And your kiss won't make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you'll probably always have a spell on me
Yeah
Oh, oh, oh
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

[Chorus: Rihanna & Ne-Yo / Both]
That's how much I love you
As much as I need you
How much I need you
How much I love you
That's how much I love you
Oh, I need you
That's how much I need you
I need you
And I hate that I love you so
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need you
(I can't stand how much I need you)
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can't let you go
(But I just can't let you go no)
And I hate that I love you so (Ohhh)
And I hate that I love you so so

I hate you i love you

Olivia O'Brien:]
Feeling used
But I'm still missing you
And I can't see the end of this
Just wanna feel your kiss
Against my lips

And now all this time
Is passing by
But I still can't seem to tell you why
It hurts me every time I see you
Realize how much I need you

I hate you, I love you
I hate that I love you
Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her

[Gnash:]
I miss you when I can't sleep
Or right after coffee
Or right when I can't eat
I miss you in my front seat
Still got sand in my sweaters
From nights we don't remember

Do you miss me like I miss you?
Fucked around and got attached to you
Friends can break your heart too
And I'm always tired but never of you

If I pulled a you on you, you wouldn't like that shit
I put this reel out, but you wouldn't bite that shit
I type a text but then I never mind that shit
I got these feelings but you never mind that shit

Oh, oh
Keep it on the low
You're still in love with me but your friends don't know
If you wanted me you would just say so
And if I were you, I would never let me go

[Olivia O'Brien:]
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I love you
Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her

[Gnash:]
I don't mean no harm
I just miss you on my arm
Wedding bells were just alarms
Caution tape around my heart

You ever wonder what we could have been?
You said you wouldn't and you fucking did
Lie to me, lie with me, get your fucking fix
Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all fucking mixed

Always missing people that I shouldn't be missing
Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create some distance
I know that I control my thoughts and I should stop reminiscing
But I learned from my dad that it's good to have feelings

When love and trust are gone
I guess this is moving on
Everyone I do right does me wrong
So every lonely night I sing this song

[Olivia O'Brien and Gnash:]
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I love you
Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you

[Olivia O'Brien:]
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her

All alone I watch you watch her
Like she's the only girl you've ever seen
You don't care you never did
You don't give a damn about me

[Olivia O'Brien and Gnash:]
Yeah, all alone I watch you watch her
She is the only thing you ever see
How is it you never notice
That you are slowly killing me?

[Olivia O'Brien:]
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I love you
Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her

8% baterai gue.

Salahkah gue? Sulit mengatakan sulit dan sangat sulit
Sulit menuturkan yang sesungguhnya
Tidak ada satupun disini orang lain yang bela
Athar bilang "Yang sudahlah engga ada lagi yang membela lo sudah jangan lagi digurbis"
Isni dan semua orang sepertinya mendorong gue untuk terus bergerak maju
Gue semakin jauh dari Tuhan
Padahal dengan keadaan seperti ini Tuhan
Barangkali sedang mengetuk hati nurani
Tuhan mencoba datang kepada gue
Berbicara pada hati kecil gue
Tuhan bilang "tidak apa tidak apa hanya Aku yang ada disini meringankan bebanmu"
Tuhan itu sayang sama gue
Dia gak ingin melihat gue jatuh terlalu jauh
Tuhan menggerakan lidah mereka mengutarakan kata yang menusuk hati
Saat sedang cinta - cintanya
Akhirnya langkah mundur dengan paksa
Athar pernah bilang
"Kalau ada apa - apa bilang gue"
Tiap kali gue datang kepadanya seperti mengelak untuk mendengarkan apa yang ingin gue utarakan
Cukup menyiksa perasaan
Kalau dipendam sendirian
Lagi - lagi sepertinya ini hanya teguran Tuhan
"Kembali saja padaku jangan kepada orang yang tidak mau mendengarkanmu"
Hanya tengah malam gue leluasa menumpahkannya
Terkadang tidak gue hanya bawa tidur saja
Berharap besok sudah melupakannya